Why I Will Never Stop Posting Selfies as a Disabled Woman
Over the years I've written quite a bit about fashion, beauty standards, body positivity, and probably most importantly, selfies.
Now, for a lot of people involved in activism, it may not seem like these things matter that much, but the truth is, they matter a lot, especially when you live in a body like mine.
In one of my more recent articles on the subject I wrote, "refusing to be erased, or rendered invisible or undesirable in my body is its own revolution. Proclaiming to the world that I see myself as beautiful is taking back and rewriting the narrative that says beautiful can never belong to someone like me."
As a woman in a fat, physically disabled body, being visible on my own terms is groundbreaking. Embracing the idea that my body is, and can be beautiful, just the way it is, not only changed my life, it can change the lives of millions of other people in bodies just like mine.
As I've said before, I spent years hating my body because I thought there was something inherently wrong with it. I spent years feeling alone because I never saw people that looked like me on TV or in magazines. Girls like me were often depicted as pity dates, or voted prom queen so everyone else could feel good about themselves, but not because they were really seen as worthy. I hated my body because I thought it was my body that was the problem, but now I know the problem isn't me at all, it's the way society understands what it means to live in a body like mine.
So many people think being disabled, and particularly fat and disabled is a fate worse than death. So many people think that being disabled means you're unlovable, or undesirable, and I'm here to say that that is simply not true.
My body is not broken, it's not ugly, and living in a body like mine is not a bad thing.
So what does all this have to do with fashion, makeup, and selfies?
Fashion matters because it is the way we express who we are on our bodies, and if disabled people are fundamentally excluded from that, we lose the ability to create and express our own identities in a way that feels authentic to each of us.
Being able to proclaim that your body is beautiful and worthy matters because it shows the world that there is nothing wrong with being different, and that different bodies aren't scary or monstrous.
Being able to be seen on your own terms changes the game, and it changes the narrative around what it means to live in a body that falls outside society's understanding of normal.
When I say I'm beautiful, it's not about vanity, or seeking someone else's approval. Instead, it's my proclamation that I finally ended the war with myself. When I talk about changing beauty standards, and increasing representation of non normative bodies it's because no one should ever feel like who they are is less worthy, or anything less than good enough.
That's why I talk about fashion, and most importantly that's why I post a ton of selfies. This is why I will never stop writing about this, and I will never stop posting selfies, no matter what response I get.
There are a lot of reasons I post selfies, especially as a fat, disabled woman:
I post selfies because it is an act of radical resistance against societal beauty standards that leave so many people out.
I post selfies because after years of self-hatred I have learned that my body is beautiful just the way it is.
I now know that I'm not a broken nondisabled person, but a whole, complex, valuable, and beautiful disabled person.
I post selfies because I never saw people that looked like me in magazines growing up, and I know from experience that representation really matters.
I post selfies for all these reasons, and many more, because, as I’ve said before, and I will say a million times, when you're a disabled person, refusing to hate your body is the most radical thing you can do.
Most of all though, I post selfies for the little girl I once was. I publicly proclaim my worth and my value for the girl who truly believed all her problems would be solved if she could just have a different body. I post selfies because I want every person out there who feels like that little girl did to know that my body, and your body is not the problem, or what needs to be changed, the narrow minded ideals of society are!
I'm definitely not the only disabled woman trying to change the world's perception of beauty one selfie at a time, for more of this, you should definitely check out activists Melissa Blake and Carly Findlay, among others, and read Melissa‘s article for Refinery29 about her year of posting selfies!
If you want to check out some of my older essays on these subjects, go to the links below, and if you want to stay up to date with all my selfies, follow me on Instagram!
