As the pandemic has unfolded, I've been thinking a lot about the importance of finding joy in the little things and holding onto the things that bring us light. Having joy and light in our lives is so core to our existence, but sometimes I think we overlook them, or talk about them glibly, or only in passing.

I've seen a lot of people talking about self-care, which is so important, and it's definitely a part of finding your joy and your light, but it's not all of it, at least not for me. To me, finding your joy and your light is about discovering those things that fuel you, and remind you that who you are is important and that your life matters. Yes, they are the things that bring you smiles, but even more than that I think finding your light and joy means finding those things that give your life purpose.

Let me explain.

To me, joy goes beyond simple happiness. Joy is a happy emotion for sure, but it's a heavy one. It's one you can hold onto, that carries you through the darkness and the uncertainty and makes you want to keep going. The things that bring you joy and light do not have to be complicated or profound, they just have to be strong enough to hold onto when the world around us gets dark.

I know things are hard right now, and we are collectively grieving the loss of what was, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find joy and hold out hope for what the future could be. In my darkest times, finding little bright spots of joy and light kept me going because the things that bring me joy and light always remind me that life is still worth living, even when it’s hard.

Everyone’s joy looks different. Perhaps it’s taking selfies and smashing standards of beauty or spending (virtual) time with friends, lovers, and family. Maybe its  rereading a favorite book, finding new adventures and stories on TV and in literature, helping others however you can, practicing your faith, or a myriad of other things.

For me, finding joy and light is about those things that make me want to keep living, keep trying, and keep fighting even when everything around you is a bit impossible. Joy is not just about a fleeting smile on your face, but rather about finding the things that give you hope, remind you of possibility, and show you your purpose.

I know that finding joy is not always simple, especially in a world full of oppression and marginalization. When you live in a marginalized body, the world constantly tries to rob you of your joy, and there can be a lot of privilege in keeping joy, and I recognize that. I recognize that when you're constantly being oppressed, finding joy can be extremely difficult, but even if you can't find joy, I hope you can find your light. That thing that helps you keep fighting against the system, and keep going even when it feels like the odds are stacked against you.

Joy and light are often hard-won, but that’s what makes them so important.

This pandemic is hard, and things are changing rapidly, but that doesn’t mean life isn’t still worth living. Even if you can’t do all the things you used to do, you most likely can find something that brings you joy and light.

If you’re struggling to find your joy, don’t be afraid to make an actual list of things that matter to you in this world. That’s how I found my joy in my darkest days.

If you’re wondering what brings me joy, here are some of the things on my joy list:

● Rediscovering the importance, value, and beauty of breakfast. As someone who has struggled for years with my relationship with food, I now find a lot of joy in being able to properly nourish my body every morning.

● Taking selfies and reminding myself to live by my own definition of beautiful and worthy.

● Video chats with friends and family who share my passion and concern for the world.

●  Listening to cheesy pop music and dancing around my room, or listening to angry punk music, and screaming along.

●  Puppies. Enough said.

●  Activism, advocacy, and helping others. I genuinely find joy and light in trying to make the world a more equitable and just place.

●  My faith, and my belief that we are not going through this for nothing, and we are not going through this alone.

● Writing and sharing my story to help remind others that no matter what we go through we are never truly alone.

These things and too many more to list, bring me joy and light. These are the things that keep me going when everything around feels dark. These are just some of the things that remind me, that life is now, and will always be, worth living.

Find your joy, whatever it is, and hold onto it like a life raft. Find those things that give you light, and don't let them go. When things are hard, and it feels like the world is at its darkest, it's important to remember that life still has purpose, beauty, and meaning.

[Image description: A black and white text image reads, “Find your joy, whatever it is, and hold onto it like a life raft. Find those things that give you light don't let them go.” The quote is attributed to Karin Hitselberger. In the bottom of the image is a web address: www.claimingcrip.com]