Rebellion Through Radical Self-Acceptance

I have a confession.

For all my talk of pride, being unashamed, and accepting who you are, most days, I still struggle to love my body and myself.

I used to think that in order to fight against societal standards of beauty and normalcy, I had to be 100% happy with the skin I was in 100% of the time. Now, I'm realizing that the idea that the opposite of body hate is unabashed love of one's body, is a harmful lie.

Not hating your body is not as simple as waking up one day and loving the skin you're in. In fact, being forced to choose between body hate and body love is not only dishonest, but it's also oppressive. Loving your body uncritically is extremely difficult to do in a world that tells you your body is a problem, especially if you're marginalized in some way.

Don't get me wrong self-love is great, but the truth is self-acceptance is much more real, and much more powerful. When people tell you to love your body, they are often not thinking of all the forces in play that make that almost impossible.

When you live in a society that tells you your broken or less than because of the way you move through the world, the way look, what you weigh, or the color of your skin, or a multitude of other reasons, loving your body will never be enough. You have to do something more significant, and learn to accept your body, whether you love it or not.

Loving your body is a personal journey, accepting your body is a political one.

You may be wondering what I mean by that, and what your body has to do with politics.

The truth is when you're marginalized in any way, everything about your body is political, and learning to accept the skin you're in is a revolutionary, radical act. When you're marginalized in some way, your body becomes the source of other people's debate, and who you are, your very existence becomes seen as a problem. 

As a fat woman disabled in multiple ways, my body has always been a problem to solve, or so I thought. I bought into the lie that my body was the problem, and that everything would be fine if I could just be different.

I spent years trying to make myself as close to nondisabled as possible. I spent painstaking hours trying to blend in, trying to walk, talk, and move through the world like everyone else, so that nobody would notice I was different. I prayed daily that nobody would notice I didn't quite fit. It never worked, though, because I can never make myself fit into the nondisabled, thin world, and so I felt like a failure. Secretly, I felt like they were right. I was broken, and I would never be good enough.

I was so focused on changing myself that I didn't even realize the world around me was the problem. This is why body shame is such a powerful tool of oppression. When refocused on changing ourselves to fit into the dominant narrative, we don't even have time to question how the dominant narrative is broken. As a fat, disabled woman, I used to think that all my problems would be solved if I could ditch my wheelchair and just be thin, but that's not true.

Fitting into dominant societal standards does nothing to change the oppression of all around us. By refusing to hate your body, you're taking a stand against a system that says being different than some arbitrarily decided norm makes you a problem to be solved, or somehow less deserving of basic human respect and dignity. Refusing to hate your body, and learning to accept it is a radical political statement because it allows you to focus on systematic change, instead of focusing on destroying yourself to fit into somebody else's mold.

I'm not saying body acceptance is easy or that it will solve all your problems, but I am saying it's a necessary journey to undertake if you want to fight against the systems of oppression that treated some people as less than human.

Accepting your body means believing that you are deserving of basic human dignity and respect precisely as you are. It means knowing that being fat, disabled, or marginalized in any other way does not make you less than, or make you less deserving of care, love, medical treatment, or anything else that every human being deserves.

You don't have to love your body 100% of the time, I know I don't, but there is power in coming to accept yourself the way you are. There is power in radically accepting your body, flaws, and all, and saying I am worthy, I am valuable, and I am enough.





















[Image description: Black text on a white background reads, "loving your body is a personal journey, accepting your body is a political one." The quote is attributed to Karin Hitselberger. At the bottom of the image is a web address: www.claimingcrip.com]