To My 14-Year-Old Self, It Gets Better, I Promise
The following is a letter I wrote to my 14-year-old self for Letters to Thrive, it is an awesome blog, check it out!
Dear 14-year-old Karin,
I know, I know, life totally sucks right now. You’ve just figured out how truly awful people can be. You’re feeling insecure, alone, and really uncomfortable in your own skin. I know you don’t think it’s ever going to get better, but I promise you it will. Girl, I know you think that the best way to go through life is to hide who you are, and to force yourself into a box that doesn’t fit you, and never will, but eventually you’ll learn that that is the furthest thing from the truth. Don’t listen to the mean girls and the bullies who tell you you’re a freak. You are awesome, don’t ever forget that.
Be kind to yourself, an internal war is one you will never win. The only person it hurts is you. Don’t be so harsh when you look in the mirror. Learn to love the girl looking back at you, and not to hate her. I promise you trying to meet some arbitrary and ridiculous standard of beauty is not worth the pain it will cause you. Now I’m learning to see that I have always been beautiful, but also so much more than that. Remember that there are so many more important things in life to be than pretty. Don’t be so afraid of failure, you don’t have to be perfect, and nobody is.
You hate your chair, your braces, and your CP. You’re ashamed of your learning disability. You don’t know this yet, but everything you hate about yourself will become your passion. It will become your driving force in life. It will be so important to you. One day you’ll learn about ableism, you’ll understand that all the things you blame yourself for aren’t your fault. Right now, your disability makes you feel different from everybody else. It makes you feel ashamed, and alone, but one day it will give you a community filled with some of the most amazing people you will ever meet. Disability will become the lens that helps define who you are. Instead of being something to be avoided, it will be something to be proud of. I know you don’t believe me now, but one day instead of shrinking away when buildings aren’t accessible, you will fight against injustice. Know that
your experiences matter, and that you matter, regardless of what anyone else says.
I promise you that your disability won’t keep you from being the person you are supposed to be, you will be her because of it. Being disabled will give you so many more experiences and opportunities than it will take away. It will define your best friendships, greatest opportunities, and the deepest passions of your heart. You will begin to define yourself as a member of the amazing legacy that is the disability community. Justice and equality will mean so much more to you then having the right clothes. Being disabled will make you proud. It will take a while, but you’ll learn that not blending in is what gives you the chance to change the world! Normal is overrated, you are so much better than average.
I’m still working things out, but I’m proud of who you have become, and I know you will be too.
Love always,
22-year-old Karin
Dear 14-year-old Karin,
I know, I know, life totally sucks right now. You’ve just figured out how truly awful people can be. You’re feeling insecure, alone, and really uncomfortable in your own skin. I know you don’t think it’s ever going to get better, but I promise you it will. Girl, I know you think that the best way to go through life is to hide who you are, and to force yourself into a box that doesn’t fit you, and never will, but eventually you’ll learn that that is the furthest thing from the truth. Don’t listen to the mean girls and the bullies who tell you you’re a freak. You are awesome, don’t ever forget that.
Be kind to yourself, an internal war is one you will never win. The only person it hurts is you. Don’t be so harsh when you look in the mirror. Learn to love the girl looking back at you, and not to hate her. I promise you trying to meet some arbitrary and ridiculous standard of beauty is not worth the pain it will cause you. Now I’m learning to see that I have always been beautiful, but also so much more than that. Remember that there are so many more important things in life to be than pretty. Don’t be so afraid of failure, you don’t have to be perfect, and nobody is.
You hate your chair, your braces, and your CP. You’re ashamed of your learning disability. You don’t know this yet, but everything you hate about yourself will become your passion. It will become your driving force in life. It will be so important to you. One day you’ll learn about ableism, you’ll understand that all the things you blame yourself for aren’t your fault. Right now, your disability makes you feel different from everybody else. It makes you feel ashamed, and alone, but one day it will give you a community filled with some of the most amazing people you will ever meet. Disability will become the lens that helps define who you are. Instead of being something to be avoided, it will be something to be proud of. I know you don’t believe me now, but one day instead of shrinking away when buildings aren’t accessible, you will fight against injustice. Know that
your experiences matter, and that you matter, regardless of what anyone else says.
I promise you that your disability won’t keep you from being the person you are supposed to be, you will be her because of it. Being disabled will give you so many more experiences and opportunities than it will take away. It will define your best friendships, greatest opportunities, and the deepest passions of your heart. You will begin to define yourself as a member of the amazing legacy that is the disability community. Justice and equality will mean so much more to you then having the right clothes. Being disabled will make you proud. It will take a while, but you’ll learn that not blending in is what gives you the chance to change the world! Normal is overrated, you are so much better than average.
I’m still working things out, but I’m proud of who you have become, and I know you will be too.
Love always,
22-year-old Karin