Brunch, Rainstorms, Disney Movies, and Community: Lessons Learned from Friends

As my time in DC comes to a close (at least for now), I want to take the next few days to reflect on all the different things I’ve learned from the many experiences I’ve had and people I’ve met here. I can’t think of a better place to start than with my friends. During the past 11 weeks, my friends have been my core, the cornerstone to everything that has happened here. From proper DC brunches and Disney sing-alongs to late-night heart-to-hearts and getting caught in the rain, my friends have been a part of almost everything. It was meeting them and knowing them that made this experience what it was. I honestly don’t know where I would be without them.

Besides being a source of never-ending entertainment, my friends were also some of my greatest teachers. I learned so much from them during my time here. It was through so many heart-to-heart conversations with my friends that I started to learn how to be comfortable in my own skin. My friends were the ones who would call me out when I was falling into old traps of internalized ableism. It was through my friends that I learned what it was really like to be part of the disability community. It was my friends who gave me the confidence to find and embrace my own awesomeness, and to never be ashamed of needing help.

Interdependence was our buzzword, and it was here that I finally truly felt that being honest about your needs and your limits is so much better than pretending you can do everything all on your own. I never once felt like it was a burden or problem, I just felt like a friend. I am so grateful for that, because it was this experience and these people who helped me really believe what I have always been told, that people could actually like me, and not just feel sorry for me.

In addition to helping me deal with a lot of my own hang-ups and insecurities, my friends also taught me that my experiences were real and valid. Meeting so many people who have similar life experiences to me, and don't react in shock, or worse pity, when I tell my stories was life-changing. Over the last 11 weeks, I have stopped feeling like I always have to hide and play “normal”. I have learned to talk honestly about my life, and not be afraid of people’s reactions. The stories people read on this blog reflect a girl who is learning to own her experiences and talk as openly and honestly about them with everybody else as I do with my friends here. The confidence I have today has come from 11 weeks of being able to talk about my experiences, and constantly being reassured that I am not a problem.

One of the other major lessons learned from my friends has been about what accessibility really means. My friends here have helped me realize that accessibility is so much more than ramps and elevators. Accessibility is large print, interpreters, captioning, and even having food that meets somebody's dietary restrictions. I've learned to care about accessibility needs outside my own, because if we don't stand in solidarity with each other, who is going to stand in solidarity with us? Through my relationships here I have learned to be aware of all types of accessibility needs, and to remember ask people what their needs are.

I'm so grateful to all my friends for being my community and being part of my journey as learn to grow into my own skin. I'm so grateful to all for teaching me a disability has never, ever, ever been something to be ashamed of. I'm glad I met them. My ridiculous stories would not have been half as fun without the people in them. I would not be who I am right here right now without the people who I met here. From brunch complete with mimosas to selfies in the middle of rainstorms every best experience in DC started and ended with my friends.

My dad once told me that a marker of a good life is having good people to miss. I have good people to miss, and I'm grateful for that.