My Chair is Not an Accessory, it's a Necessity
I read a story earlier this weekend about a girl who was told she could not bring her wheelchair into a museum because it would get the carpets dirty. According to the article I read, she was offered another wheelchair to use, and it later came out that the whole situation was a breach of museum policy. It happens all the time though, there are spaces that are inaccessible to me because my wheelchair is not welcome, or will not fit.
"You can come," people will say, "but I don't know if you can bring your chair." Or "I'm not sure if your chair will fit." I've even been told my chair is fundamentally not welcome in certain spaces. I know that people don't do this to be hurtful, and sometimes I even willingly go into inaccessible spaces to spend time with people that I love and care about, but the general assumption that I can just choose not to bring my chair, or choose to use a different chair is very frustrating.
I don't mind it when people are aware of the situation. I don't mind it when people present me with options, and let me know that one of the options may mean that I won't be able to bring my power chair. I don't mind that because if I choose that option I'm choosing it knowing full well what I'm getting into. That's my choice, and it should always be my choice. Nobody else should ever make that choice for me.
When people just assume that I can choose not to use my power chair, or sometimes go somewhere without my chair at all, it is really frustrating. It's frustrating because they forget that my chair is a necessity, not a fashion accessory. I don't use my chair because I like it, I use it because I need it. When I don't have my chair, specifically my power chair, I am totally deprived of any independence I may have. Being deprived of your independence is not exactly the best feeling, and nobody should ever decide for you that that is an okay situation to be in without your permission.
People make the mistake of thinking that they can separate me from my chair, just like the person at that museum made the mistake of thinking that they could ask that girl not to use her chair. Chairs are not fashion accessories. I can't go anywhere without my chair, any more than you can go somewhere without your legs. I don't use shoes as my comparison because it's not analogous. People ask you to take off your shoes when you go into their homes, but nobody would ever dream of asking you to take off your legs. Nobody would ever dream of asking you to give up your mobility to be welcome in a public space, and yet it's asked of me all the time.
It makes me think of the time that I was at the Met to see Swan Lake. I was waiting for the elevator and this woman said that there was room for people in the elevators, but no wheelchairs. "People but no wheelchairs," she kept repeating over and over again. People, but no wheelchairs, her seemingly harmless statement stung me. What about people in wheelchairs? What about us? I don't like being seen only for my chair and not as a person, but when my chair is completely forgotten that presents itself as a problem.
I love fashion, and I have tons of accessories, but my chair is not one of them. It is not an option. It is not a choice. It is a necessity, and when people can't see that, I don't feel welcome. I can't leave my chair behind because it may get the carpets dirty. When my chair is not welcome, I am not welcome either. In those situations, there is no separation; it is a part of me. We don't ask other people to leave essential parts of themselves at the door, so why should we ever ask it of chair users? Why is it that I should feel less welcome because of my chair, than non-chair users feel? Why is it considered acceptable that people are more concerned about cosmetics than access needs? How would you feel if someone told you, you could not enter a public space, because you may get the carpets dirty?
"You can come," people will say, "but I don't know if you can bring your chair." Or "I'm not sure if your chair will fit." I've even been told my chair is fundamentally not welcome in certain spaces. I know that people don't do this to be hurtful, and sometimes I even willingly go into inaccessible spaces to spend time with people that I love and care about, but the general assumption that I can just choose not to bring my chair, or choose to use a different chair is very frustrating.
I don't mind it when people are aware of the situation. I don't mind it when people present me with options, and let me know that one of the options may mean that I won't be able to bring my power chair. I don't mind that because if I choose that option I'm choosing it knowing full well what I'm getting into. That's my choice, and it should always be my choice. Nobody else should ever make that choice for me.
When people just assume that I can choose not to use my power chair, or sometimes go somewhere without my chair at all, it is really frustrating. It's frustrating because they forget that my chair is a necessity, not a fashion accessory. I don't use my chair because I like it, I use it because I need it. When I don't have my chair, specifically my power chair, I am totally deprived of any independence I may have. Being deprived of your independence is not exactly the best feeling, and nobody should ever decide for you that that is an okay situation to be in without your permission.
People make the mistake of thinking that they can separate me from my chair, just like the person at that museum made the mistake of thinking that they could ask that girl not to use her chair. Chairs are not fashion accessories. I can't go anywhere without my chair, any more than you can go somewhere without your legs. I don't use shoes as my comparison because it's not analogous. People ask you to take off your shoes when you go into their homes, but nobody would ever dream of asking you to take off your legs. Nobody would ever dream of asking you to give up your mobility to be welcome in a public space, and yet it's asked of me all the time.
It makes me think of the time that I was at the Met to see Swan Lake. I was waiting for the elevator and this woman said that there was room for people in the elevators, but no wheelchairs. "People but no wheelchairs," she kept repeating over and over again. People, but no wheelchairs, her seemingly harmless statement stung me. What about people in wheelchairs? What about us? I don't like being seen only for my chair and not as a person, but when my chair is completely forgotten that presents itself as a problem.
I love fashion, and I have tons of accessories, but my chair is not one of them. It is not an option. It is not a choice. It is a necessity, and when people can't see that, I don't feel welcome. I can't leave my chair behind because it may get the carpets dirty. When my chair is not welcome, I am not welcome either. In those situations, there is no separation; it is a part of me. We don't ask other people to leave essential parts of themselves at the door, so why should we ever ask it of chair users? Why is it that I should feel less welcome because of my chair, than non-chair users feel? Why is it considered acceptable that people are more concerned about cosmetics than access needs? How would you feel if someone told you, you could not enter a public space, because you may get the carpets dirty?
