"It Is What It Is"
"It is what it is." I can't think of a more dismissive statement. "It is what it is." That's one of the fastest ways to shut somebody down without listening to their concerns, or their problems. "It is what it is." Those five words are repeatedly used to invalidate human experiences. Those five words are repeatedly used as code for, "things are fine the way they are, stop trying to change anything." That simple statement is used over and over again to say that your feelings, your experiences, your concerns, and more often than not, you, yourself simply don't matter.
Recently, Eric, one of my friends here in DC was quoted in an article about the challenges disabled people face using public transportation in DC. Challenges such as constant elevator breakdowns, outage lists that aren't updated, and new buses that may or may not fit a power wheelchair. All this to say nothing of the complete lack of other options such as taxis that are available to wheelchair users across the city. Eric explained how frustrating it is never to know whether you will be able to board the train you need when you show up at a Metro station, because you're not sure whether or not the elevators are working. He also explained how difficult it is when the elevators are out for months at a time in places where people need to go to get to work.
I read this and I was with him one hundred percent. Eric and I have had several conversations about transportation accessibility, and how the lack of it can make life super difficult, especially when there are not many other options. What he said was so true, and so real to me and so many other people in the city, I was sure somebody would understand, I was sure somebody would take what he had to say seriously. I was convinced that this time it would be different. Convinced that this time, maybe, just maybe, somebody would get it. I was convinced until I read the last line of the article.
The response of the Metro spokesman to the lack of accessibility? "It is what it is." That's it. No trying to understand why it may be frustrating for people like myself and Eric who rely on the Metro to live our lives. Not even a feigned apology for the fact that so many Metro elevators are out at one time, making the system very difficult to navigate for wheelchair users. Nothing but simple dismissal.
"It is what it is." I can't even count the number of times somebody has told me that. So many times when I point out injustice, such as lack of access to a building that is clearly covered under the ADA, that is the response I get. Nobody is angry. Very few people can even understand why I am upset. They don't want to hear it. They don't want to listen. They don't care. They write me off with a simple, "oh well, it is what it is, what are you going to do?"
People are so ready, and so willing to accept that the way the world is is the way the world has to be, that they don't want to hear anything about changing things. Especially when it comes to disability. In so many of the situations I am faced with, I like to imagine how people would react if disability was replaced with race, or gender. I like to imagine what people would say if they were told that they couldn't get into a new building because of their gender or the color of their skin. I know, that, at least outwardly people would be outraged, but not for me. I'm always told I have to wait. Wait, and hope it will get better. Wait, and hope that one day people will understand. Wait, and believe that maybe, just maybe someday people will treat me like an actual human being.
Back in Miami, I have been denied entry to buses because drivers didn't know how to, or simply didn't feel like putting the lift down. Back home in New Jersey, I have been kept out of ice cream shops because it was against policy to open the back door, which also happened to be the only accessible entrance. Whenever I would question these things, the response from the other party would always be the same, "I know, but it is what it is, what are you going to do?"
For a long time, I had come to accept that response. Inaccessibility was a way of life, at least to some degree. There were so many situations I would be in, where I knew it wasn't fair, and I knew it wasn't right, but I inadvertently bought into the standard response, "it is what it is."
"It is what it is" is a really easy way for people to invalidate my experiences. If I try to talk about accessibility, discrimination, or ableism, and the response I get is, "it is what it is," I am shot down flat. People stop listening because they accept the status quo. People stop listening because they feel that right or wrong, things aren't going to change. It's also a really good way to remind me that I don't matter. When I talk about the things I experience and people respond, "it is what it is," they're basically saying, "oh come on, it's not a big deal."
When I talk about the lack of accessible housing, and instead of realizing why it is a real problem, people say, "man that sucks, but oh well. It is what it is," they're subtly telling me not to fight back, not to fight for change. "It is what it is," is the battle cry of people who do not believe that we can, or should do better. "It is what it is," is the mantra of people who do not see shortcomings and challenges as opportunities for positive change. I don't expect people to be perfect, and I don't expect people to always get things right, but when the response to people's challenges and struggles is "it is what it is," I get angry.
I get angry because people are unwilling to admit that things should be different. I get angry because people are unwilling to swallow their pride and admit that there's room for improvement. I get frustrated and I get angry because as we approach the 23rd anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act, we deserve better than "it is what it is," and "well that's good enough". We deserve to really be equal. We deserve to have our rights and needs respected and not pushed aside. I do not believe in, "it is what it is." I believe in here is where we are, here is where we want to be, and we can do better.
If you have stories about your experiences on the DC Metro share them on twitter at: @ItIsWhatItIs_DC
Also, check out this awesome article my friend Eric was quoted in: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dr-gridlock/wp/2013/07/19/disabled-metro-riders-raise-concerns/