Ableism Kills

It took me a while to write this post, not because it isn't important, but because I didn't want to write it. I didn't want to have to write about this. I didn't want to have to write about Alex Spourdalakis. I didn't want to  have to write about how disabled people being killed by their parents and caregivers is far too common. I didn't want to have to write about how what little media coverage there is about Alex Spourdalakis' brutal murder at the hands of his mother and caregiver makes me sick. I shouldn't have to write about how awful this is. I shouldn't be in the minority. Everyone should be angry. Everyone should be outraged. Everyone should be calling for justice. Everyone should be talking about Alex Spourdalakis, but for the most part it feels like barely anybody is.

The news articles I read talk about his "desperate" "overwhelmed" mother. They say she was just doing what she thought was best. They always start with her, they talk about him only in relation to her. It shouldn't be like this. People shouldn't be so ready to excuse and understand murder simply because the victim was disabled. Murder shouldn't be excused with phrases like "I can't imagine how hard it must have been."

 It shouldn't be like this. More people should not be sympathizing with the murderer than the victim. Alex Spourdalakis was brutally stabbed to death by people who were supposed to protect and take care of him. That should never be understandable. I should not go to bed at night thinking how lucky I am that my parents didn't kill me, that should be a given. The conversation should not be about how people can "understand" what Alex's mother did, even if they don't agree with it, That's ableism. A 14-year-old boy was brutally stabbed to death by his mother, and we somehow find it understandable? That's ableism. A 14-year-old boy is brutally stabbed to death, and all the news stories focus on the plight of his murderer? That's ableism. This has happened before, too many times to count, and no one seems to know. That's ableism.

Ableism kills because it allows people to justify the unjustifiable. Ableism kills because it allows people to understand what cannot be understood .Ableism kills because when a 14-year-old autistic boy is brutally stabbed to death by his mother, the news stories aren't about how terrible it is, there about how difficult it must of been to take care of him. Ableism kills because when a 14-year-old autistic boy is stabbed to death by his mother it's not on the front page of every newspaper. Ableism kills because when a 14-year-old autistic boy is killed by his mother the cries of justification outnumber the cries for justice.

I didn't want to write this, but I had to. I didn't want to write this, but Alex deserves to be remembered, not as a footnote to his mother's story, but as a 14-year-old boy who story was brutally and unfairly cut short.

RIP Alex Spourdalakis